like the open water, i fear starting somewhere new. i'm reclusive by nature. i would do _anything_ to make things the way you would like them, but i'm such a scared little bitch when it comes to stuff like that. i cannot help it. i just want to cry on your shoulder and weep for an answer worth speaking of, but its seems impossible. while i search for s omeone to confide into i feel as if i have to maintain a "tough" outward appearance towards to, not @you, but @the world. i dont want you to think i'm weak, although you already know i am. i dont want you to think i'm trapped when i'm bound, and i dont want you to think that i'm not trying to see the future better for us. i'm just sooo scared.