that dreaded plugging in of the ipod is happening now. itunes has been unresponsive and cut off 'green sleeves' by loreena. i called krystal to thank her for everything this weekend and that i was thinking about her. this weekend was not so good for us, but at the same time i learned a lot stuff i need to know and i learned it all this weekend. 'i'll just wing it' she said it to me while looking past me, but maybe she is serious. maybe she wants to get married and go through the fucking struggle like i'm sure my mother did with my father. she has no idea what horrible things like me being her husband will do to her credit as a person, civilian and person in general. that fucking bitch at her woork will look down on her. itunes is back... 1:17 AM i want to get married, yes. but what i do not want is for me to get stuck into some kind of 'trap' for complete lack of better words. i trust krystal, she's into me (maybe even too much) but i'm not sure i trust her enough to give her my life. what if she pulled something on me and knew how to get me into a corner and stick it to me. why would she do this? would she do this? i do not like the fact that she cannot trust me totally. but were on it. we need a new ring.