broke. as FUCK ..ibank so with five dollars in between two accounts, i find myself nearly at the bottom without the main battle (court) having even started yet. i do not think i'm going to be able to escape probation this time. that will mean the biggest obstacle in my life that i could image will become my ultimate new reality. this is why i think my sudden fascination with wrestling. being scared into a corner with this thing with pick n save that i totally allowed to allow myself to partake in has got me scared stiff. i think only a few times had i burned in the car but even that has changed. my weakness is being with my sister or dad. fuck... well wrestling is the new "adrenaline" rush i can get. while i dont really get it while i'm watching it something attracts me to it. something will have to attract me to something very soon. recently i've been thinking about i'll be in front of a judge before i get a paycheque. imagine where i could be in life had i just been a straight arrow. something IS wrong with me. something is VERY wrong with me. i do not have a clue to what it is. i'm a polytheist.