in ten minutes i'll be leaving for work. friday night fever not so bad this week. but i do anticipate a change-of-life, in regards to employment. something needs to be put into action soon, but i still feel i'm not ready to jump ship just yet. i need to really prove myself somewhere, and change the way people feel about me, starting from the ground up. i hope that everything works out for us. i guess what i'm also trying to say is i just want to work nine to five like everybody else. an employment status where one can be tired by eight o'clock on fridays, stop living on military time and start focusing on dying happy. and while this is all my fault, why i'm not doing this right now and why i haven't been doing it already for years, i still like to sit back and wonder what in the flying fuck drove me to do the things i have done, and continue to do. /