nicole brought me home a tallboy! you bet your ass off i returned the favour. she got some big drama in here world of nouns. _if it ain't one thing, its a mother fucking 'nother_ she says. i guess i don't have that many issues with nouns because my social circle really starts to become transparents once you hover past first and second nodes of my social infrastructure. **no** it does not bother me at all. last night at work brian asked me when the last time i hung out with bradley was (cos i think brian thinks he's my superficial best friend that i hang out with all the time) and i had to be honest i think it just started to snow. i probably was this year, but in the early stages. aside from that, that's the last social situation i've been in. before that was probably seeing Clerks II @ mayfair with [surrealkiller](http://surrealkiller.livejournal.com/) and [fredfreakazoid](http://fredfreakazoid.livejournal.com/) (with [absolved](http://absolved.livejournal.com/) of course). my one day i get to breathe something other than third shift air on the weekends are spent with [absolved](http://absolved.livejournal.com/) doing our mIRROR thing and being how we do. to be honest 90% of our time is spent either directly or indirectly spent with our animals. the remaining time is spent eating food i cook and watching wrestling. and if for some reason you happen to see me in public, i'm probably at aquatics unlimited, or driving to or from there. i know the layout of almost every pet store in milwaukee within a 15 mile radius of hawley. i can't imagine doing anything more than i already do. honestly. i don't really like being out of the house much. i can't stand being around people for too long. while structured social situations sometimes help me escape the thoughts in my head, i guess i just always preferred to stay at home. the other day i have off during the week, i'll come home parsay at 6:15 on a monday morning and i will park in the driveway and that car will stay in that position until 21:40 on tuesday night when i have to go back to work. unless of course lenin needed bottled water or something else, then there is always the lovely 3:30 wal-mart super centre run. walmart is hell on earth during the day. too many ppl! i may see someone i grew up with, pleh! imagine that. so what's the point of this god forsaken post anyway? i am not going to complain about not having any real-life friends. i always preferred the digital ones. you can close the window and walk away at any time. digital relationships are the best. they force you to do nothing but talk, stripping you of who you really are. that blanket of security has probably been the sole reason i've been such an online entity for all these years. when i'm on the computer i can be the person i always wanted to be, and am, but nobody knows it or not. _you can't see me_. my faith in digital relationships, only grew stronger as the years passed in my relationship with [absolved](http://absolved.livejournal.com/). before i knew her, **someone i met on this very domain**; i really didn't have much faith in relationships and had pretty much decided i would spent the rest of my days retiring to seriously overwhelming drug habits, dehabilitiating ones even; and just spend the rest of life laughing about how stupid a structured lifestyle was. but then all those weird theories about digital relationships and even the slightest idea that [absolved](http://absolved.livejournal.com/) was real, meant that there should be something else to live for. that was over four years ago.