hard seeing brian leave, knowing its our last barush togther. it will be a dark time at work. silent mesh. oscar is the new brian, yay. i can't understand anything he says. i suppose that's my downfall. still its fucking retarded. i'm going to try and resist taking XII with me to [absolved](http://absolved.livejournal.com/)'s house, **i can always play tomorrow**. aside from that not much, going to bed in a few minutes. as soon as this smoke is done, i will be too. i've decided that burning after work causes wild thoughts and racy dreams. quite possibly why i overslept yesterday too, cos i burned after work : before sleep. my goal is to make it pertnear to the one or two year anniversary (of marriage) before [any one on this list](http://wiki.vanillatree.org/index.php?title=Parker_Family_Birthdays) finds out i'm even married! _reclusive by nature, avoidant by choice!_ harlan denies my offer for breakfast near his birthday. so i guess i'll have to buy him a little something. today is a bathing day for lenin. sleep!