i am sort of disappointed that i haven't heard anything from that job. i don't know why, i guess i just got really ampped over nothing. it was just another email, think of how many people also got that email. but the first time i check my email each day i get all excited hoping that they may have responded. so many parts of me have died so long ago that sometimes i wonder who i really am. what do i stand for? do i even stand for anything? i'm not depressed, i really do not believe in that. if i did it would be something along the lines of life IS depression and the perk of waking up each morning if finding SOMETHING ELSE that might make you smile, memorise a particual wrinkle in time, or change the way you feel all the time. i suppose one with a great seamless system would be able to call themselves 'not depressed' because they are so surrounded by positive things (to them) stupid -- i'm too analytical.