had to stop at walmart after work. stuff i needed that couldn't be avoided anymore. timothy hay for lenin. (i got snuggles some treats too, we got a week together next week maybe she'll decide to love me again!) deodarant. for real i'm done with axe. that is the best smelling stuff out there and you can't beat their soap. but jesus CHRIST everyday the price goes higher and higher. 4.80 for some fucking axe? you gotta be kidding me! so now i'm trying TAG which was a comparably priced competitor when axe first got big approval -- now its almost 1.75 cheaper! filled up on gas on the way home. looking FORWARD to tomorrow. BTW i got off sunday too. with us buying a trailer and all, [absolved](http://absolved.livejournal.com/) and myself decided not to get anything for each other for holidays for a long, LONG time. i'm going to buy her something small for her birthday, i dont care -- i totally understand and RESPECT that she doesn't want us stressed on what to get, but seriously i CANNOT just skip it. walmart had BENOIT figures still despite a national call to remove him. if i had a little more money, i would have bought it just so i could have it. work tonight with rich, yay... yay like YAY! everyone still thinks i'm in a bad mood. brian asked three times if everything was ok, last night. twice he said "come on man, not even a smile." jill came in with her date last night! i know i see her all the time, but its at work. i'm not even trying to go there, but DAMN she was really looking her best for him. her date looked so happy. she better not fuck him over. brian really does NOT like gary at all. which is bad, because i have that hardcore nice-guy feeling leaking off him. he asked brian to cook for him yesterday and brian totally just threw some shit together and threw it at him. its not good to press a cook to cook right after a spurt of business. anyhow when he was eating, i wanted to start crying. and when i say i want to start crying i dont mean like sad whiney stuff i just mean random tears. i know i've had a stream of tears come flying out of my face for maybe five seconds and then stop. anyway -- watching him eat, i just felt like breaking down. i **know** he didn't like the food, but he ate at anyway. i've got so much respect for gary, and after having one of those "nice guy moments" while watching him, i dont think that will ever be able to change. i'm on that defense of gary. former marine who has literally been drunk since he got out. i would be too if i saw what he did. did what he was told to do for this country. sad really.