Tonight I'm going to go out to eat with my Father.  To put it in laymans terms I would say listen to the first 45 seconds of the song "Above the Clouds" by Gang Starr.  There is a mysterious force keeping my Father and I from enjoying a true, real relationship with one another and tonight I'm going to spend all my kinetic energy in search of why.  Drinks, smoke, whatever it needs to be I'm walking away from dinner tonight feeling different about my Father. It will be tough, but it has to be done.