Been so long since I've had an update worth kicking back and reading. However it has been alright the last few days.  I'm still at this age in my life running around seeking out validation from others.  I don't know what that is about, or where it comes from.  I don't have any confidence in myself at the core of my existence and I'm not sure why that is.  That is the reason I'm inable to suddenly excel at work, I don't have enough confidence in my station at this moment how could I be expected to step it up and take on more?  I've received so much positive praise from my coworkers at Jake's that I should be allowing myself the freedom to feel comfortable. Went to Mom's house after an odd shift on Sunday.  Odd by that I mean I didn't recognize most of the people working when I got there, the toaster was done, and the char-broiler was missing.  It was incredible, I didn't feel good until Ziemer got there when I felt like I knew what the fuck was going on.  Mom's house was great.  I was tired as shit, but I made the efforts to make it over there. David was there, as so was Dwayne (at the end).  We made three pizzas and watched Food Network.  We talked and hung out.  Dogs close, conversations friendly.  It was the first year in many that I didn't purchase my Mother anything for her birthday.  It's a week past, and it is still bothering me incredibly. Father's Day is Sunday and I'm still no ideas about that either.  Current front-runner is getting Dad that coffee (Firecracker) he liked when he had come over for the pizza prior to going to see Oz with Jill & Krystal.  Also thought maybe a bottle of balsamic vinaigrette (organic) if I could find an arugula plant for him.  Otherwise basil or thyme.  I'm not sure when the fuck I'll get time to go and get these things. Mishko got fired and next week I'm in charge of closing the kitchen down as Vincent has to come in and be Mario on the grill in back while he tends to his Wife following a surgical procedure. I'm sure we are all paying for that one way or another.  Also Austin started his new job as a painting foreman on Tuesday (our Monday). I doesn't sound like he is much of a foreman but he claims he is, but he definitely has the suntan to prove he's been putting in work outside.  When he came in yesterday (second day two jobs) he was pretty much done already upon walking in.  I hope he can make it cos you can make it easy to find thin-ice at Jake's it seems. All of us are working tonight. Soon I'm going to have to step-it-up and just take over up front for Vinnie at a certain point of the night and have him go do his Kitchen Manager stuff.  **Heard.** Also on Monday night I went to Outpost late as shit and got supplies for a good fruit stash and I bought stuff for pizza. We made a "superfood piza" and the crust was slightly broken so we just gave it to Stalin. \[pe2-image src="http://lh5.ggpht.com/-HYz0\_g5S-6w/UbaTx3Jf6eI/AAAAAAAAR2I/DP6ORY6jLV4/s144-c-o/CameraZOOM-20130610220407456.jpg" href="https://picasaweb.google.com/111138343281181175966/20130611?authkey=FaeymrRMiiM#5888056047660165602" caption="" type="image" alt="CameraZOOM-20130610220407456.jpg" \] ADDENDUM: Also on Tuesday after service I went to deliever the PVR to Nicole's house and then I stopped up at Sussex Place to see if Bradley was there. He was so was Kattie and Brad Timm.  We talked in the kitchen for a bit then went to Tailgators (hoping Michael was there) and had a drink or two.  Went to Bradley's afterwards and talked food until three in the morning.