Part of the reason I feel I'm so distant and quiet when I'm around Cara and her daughter is because I think about how it must have been to be Nicole when I first started going to school. She was probably so excited to have Mom all to herself and I don't wanna take away from those precious, irreplaceable moments. Those are once in a lifetime moments that can never be relived or emulated in any sort of way. Work has been stressful as well. One of those weeks where you feel like your in the wrong industry, your work is pointless and you are utterly worthless. I look at Cara and I see her going about her routine and doing her thing and out of nowhere I think of that random relationship related episode of Dr. Phil I saw so many years that suggested when you wake up you should think to yourself "what can I do to make her (Cara's) day better. I'm saddened to believe myself that just saying nothing, being quiet yet polite is the proper answer. I don't have words to describe how much I love Cara. Meeting her gave deep amounts of emotional investment unto believing all those mystical fairy tales about destiny and predetermined purposes. And while all of this might be entirely irrelevant and meaningless, it is, in fact how I feel and that's why it's posted up here and not Facebook. I'm not posting this for others, I'm posting this to relive this moment indefinitely in the future.