So I'm flooded with the ideas of YouTube and Medium once again.  Just like I said last night, I should primarily focus on NOT being involved with Social Media but something about those fucking videos of Casey Neistat moved something inside of me.  I really do feel like sharing is great too and I like sharing unbelievably like he does.  IDK what the focus should be?  Maybe I should just be on some fuck the world shit and make a video that isn't about "drinking" that isn't about "vaping" but a journey into "happiness". Listen to the Trial by Pink Floyd and really absorb the lyrics. I need to make this change in a fucking quick hurry.  Everything is ticking inside, but the actions are still absent. All day as well I'm finding myself stuck on that day I met Cara at Collectivo coffee last year, snow falling, the day she told Lloyd she wanted out.  What a fucking terrible day that was for her.  The snow helped bring that message home with me that day.  Watching her park the Civic, watching her do what Cara does as the snow fell into her hair as she approached me. It was a very odd day, and it has been at the forefront of my thinking today.  This is a prime example of how unfair I am to myself.  Still dwelling on things that are approaching a year+ in the history books.  What a waste of life.  What a waste of thought.  What a fucking waste. The part that makes me really like Casey Neistat is the what fucking irritates me about him.  A lot.  The way the 2015 video started and ended.  The way he so sure of himself that it was the greatest year of his life and how at the end he said that 2016 will be the greatest year of his life as well.  That power, that ability to say shit like that and know deep inside that you mean it and that it's not something he's just saying into the camera - that sort of stuff really is something I wish I could do.