I need to do something when things become overwhelmingly difficult to deal with in regards to losing Cara.  I'll be good, I'll be good, I'll be good and then BOOM suddenly I'm flooded with emotion.  The back of my neck feels sputtered with tingly sensations at first and seems to get _splashed away_ with a burst of a sudden chills and waves of electricity that run the length of my spine and into my legs just behind the knees. Despite how much of my outward actions where not in coordination with how deeply was embedded into Cara, the physical teardown is absolute murder. So when these things happen I just want to ball up and cry my fucking eyes out.  Look at pictures of skylines and sunsets.  Grow the fuck up. Now I'm fucking rambling again.  So off we go with that.  I'll try and drop one-liners and perhaps a summarizing sentence below it to help relive the moment again in the future. How bad is it tho, that this does not even compare to breaking it off with Krystal.  All the comments I got today on Whisper and Reddit are proof that despite my total lack of care at primal moments during our relationship, the car did need two drivers to get where we where at. It'll be what it is.