I believe we are two days shy of two-months since we have sat down and wrote on here.  Perhaps that was for the better or perhaps not, but the reality is that time has now passed and there is no point in looking back and hum-bugging over the fact that I didn't take a moment out of my day to log anything.  Moved the URL back to William because to be honest, I no longer care if "she" is looking at it or not.  To be quite frank about it, I'm sure she never was in the first place.  You may have _**wanted her to**_ at some point, but those moments have long passed. A lot has changed since I posted on here last.  I started going to AA, and stopped with almost as much enthusiasm as I had started with in participation.  I LOVED the brotherhood aspect of it all, but I just couldn't come to terms with the religious side of things.  They said over and over again they are not a religious organization and go as far to say that GOD means "Good Orderly Direction", the reality is they are holding hands in a circle and saying the words "Jesus Christ" without swearing anywhere involved in the sentence.  I have absolutely no problem admitting that I'm "powerless" over alcohol but at the same time I'm not content with saying that I'm unable to overcome such things without the help of a "higher power".  I know from experience that you can unlock the power within yourself, and I just needed a little guidance getting to that situation.  Now I have a very small handful of experiences under my belt where I was around alcohol in a social setting and instead of just diving right into the situation, I just did what I used to prior to being an alcoholic, I just simply watched the whole thing happen. I also managed to find work, while completely immobile.  My Mother was gracious enough to take me to the interview once I had one, and she also took work in order to make sure I made it to the orientation last week at the Country Inn & Suites in Waukesha.  Without the help of my Mother during this process as well off as the day I tapped out of the Braising Pan.  I'm eternally grateful for all her help and all the things she has done for me the last two-and-a-half-months.  Dad and Jill for allowing me to come back without any questions, and Nicole for keeping my mind busy during these troubling times. I must seize this opportunity at this new job to turn over a new leaf of sorts.  I am really kicked back into the dinosaur age in regards to this new job.  Everything is new territory and everything is unfamiliar.  I'm usually well prepared for most things I get into, like the "setup of things" for complete lack of better terms.  Typically for tomorrow I'd be clad in the proper khaki colored Dickie's and a requested blue polo shirt.  The reality is I have no money for either, and my Mother was gracious enough to purchase me some Dickie's to get me started.  The only "blueish" shirts I have are one of my non-black cooking Dickie's t-shirts which is Navy in color but until tonight I wasn't quite clear on how badly stained the shirt is with grease.  The only other option is my Dickie's button up navy colored button-up shirt that is quite small on me and not long enough to get tucked in.  So I'm going to have to wear my navy Dickie's t-shirt and perhaps if they don't give me any shit about it I'll be able to wear some of my black ones until they get us shirts.  Being full time I really hope I get more than two shirts.  I don't really want to have to be doing laundry every other day and I wont be on the floor like the rest of the employees so I will probably get a little dirtier than they would. My biggest concern however, and the concern that will be the highlight of each and everyday I work is the weather.  I'm forced to ride the CULT to work each day, as I'm still unable to get my license due to the DUI situation.  I believe I was originally slated to get my license back in May but I recall getting a letter saying it was suspended indefinitely until I had completed that alcohol assessment in Jackson. Just going to have to take it one day at a time.  There is no other way to approach the situation.  We are only human, and I have many demons that I have overcame in the past and there is nothing that is going to stop me from becoming the person I want to become.  It's time to focus on the future.