Now don't get me wrong.  I have **hardcore, level 4 fucking unresolved feelings** for this women that go back longer than I know many people I associate with on a regular basis today.  I've had unsettling thoughts about this women for more years than I care to admit to.  All of this and the possibility of places I could take things with a message like that are limitless.  Now quite possibly this whole me taking time to type this shit out right now when I could be doing anything else in the world right at this moment could just be my way of inadvertently confessing that I'm going to spend the next six months trying to make this women the most important thing in my world - but as I type now it is more my formal way of stating that I'm going to not do anything with this at all.  I'm going to leave it right here where it is and do nothing more than just be me.  I quoted Marilyn Manson when I asked Krystal to be my girlfriend: "I'd like to love you but my heart is a sore." so because of how perfectly that all ended I quoted Marilyn Manson again tonight: "I don't know if I can open up, I've been opened enough." She's talking with her ex at this very moment.  And as much as I'd like to say that will resolve itself and ride into the sunset like at the end of Grease, I'm almost more apt to think to myself if she will be thinking about me while I'm at work tomorrow or almost more importantly - while she's talking to dude.  God I am such a fucking dick sometimes.  But I love it, I really do.