Well last night marked one of the most remarkable improvements for me in quite some time.  I had my longest meditation without losing focus.  Just keep [bringing it back](https://streamable.com/egmm1) to zero when I caught myself falling away, which happened a little bit because I had to do this with a bunch of music playing in the background because of the amount of noise coming out of the ground level of the house.  Dad, Jill, Patrick, Nicole, Frank and Rachel were all here and well into their things by the time I walked in the door.  I had to clear my mind from work, such a shitty day every Thursday and Friday each week.  It's almost like I wonder if that's why she's been giving me off on those days because she knows I'm going to be a raging ball of anger when I see my check, so it's best to leave him out in the cold and way from the store when that happens.  The way this chick drags me down on purpose blows my fucking mind. Like tomorrow, CHRISTMAS EVE she's got me there BY MY FUCKING SELF after 13:30.  Changes of people swooping down on the store, namely the meat department for these last-minute needs, who will see me in my white jacket will think their day is saved.  But they will be saddened to hear that I'm just a fucking poser apprentice. I don't have time for this.  A meme to save the day. [](http://uswm.openpluto.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/CleanRoom.png)