- Such hostility within me.  Gotta focus on putting those energies to good use elsewhere.   - Everything feels weird around the edges. Can feel Jon trying to sort of push me in certain directions to see how I react.  "Oh look she snapped me." and showing me his display.  Like dude I don't give a fuck.  What are you up to right now!? - It's good I do not have access to a vehicle otherwise I'm afraid my issues with him with have come to a head already.  Things way beyond what they ever need to be.  Keep in mind the gratefulness of not being able to transport yourself to other places.  All the bad situations you have avoided because of this freedom. - All those sick fucking things and elements that trouble my Father are deeply embedded into my core.  I've done nearly all I can do to try and shake them out of me.  But within weeks of being with Kristin I could tell there was no way in fuck it was going to work.  There is just some affliction within us that prevents us from being happy and only gets really worse when we are with someone.  Put that on top of our overwhelming inability to be alone and you really have yourself a situation that you can get away from you in a hurry. - Still not worth it.  We are vile, toxic beings.  We should not be allowed to be around others for too long.  Must keep repeating the lyrics that all things that are pretty are always kept being glass, someone like me - someone like me just can't make it last.