Danielle asked if I have off on Friday and when I said Yes she said "Me too", so after a short moment of silence (over text of course) I asked her if she wanted to do something, she almost immediately responded "Sure!" and when I asked her what she might have in mind she asked me what I thought about the Zoo, and I did respond to her but then I dozed off and woke up around 23:30 or so and had a handful of messages from Instagram of animals. This will be entry whatever the fuck in regards to me posting about my downright confusion about Danielle and the situation that is happening between us. There has not been any sort of physical attraction that I sense coming from her so I'm forced to assume that we are just "friends" but at the same time, I have all these "social precautions" sitting on top of my normal behaviors and I do not know why. These are reservations I typically have reserved for people in the past that I have been romantically interested in. I'm not sure I have spent any decent amount of time with someone who doesn't seem to give a fuck about much as she does. I have wondered more than once if this is the same sort of taste I've put in peoples mouths about myself in the past. Cos if that is the case I'm guilty of confusing more than one person in the past, that is certain. When I think to myself about simply point-blank asking her what her goals and objectives are I think about the very slim possibility of her telling me that she is into me that way, and I have feelings of sorrow if that is the case. This is truly one of those situations where we truly "missed each other" if she indeed did harbor feelings about me. There are so many things that make us nearly the same persons inside but on the other side of that sword is the reality that those commonalities might be too much in line with another to make sense of going at it together. The given fucks between us might not amount to much and that might only be laying the groundwork for a disaster that might implode on itself almost imeediately. As much as I want to just poke through this gray area and ask her for clarity the reality is I'm only cautious because if there is a sliver of a chance she does harbor feelings and I make it clear to her that I have no intention of keeping her for myself exclusively that she will just write me off right then and there and move on to the next person and dismiss me entirely as a person, and even stripping me of whatever experience I have made with her already. Not once was there any sort of "electricity" that I've experienced in the past, and I do not think she's that much putting effort into hiding her intentions she even told you flat out at Fiddleheads that her boyfriends of the past she just "put up with" and found it "something to do" if nothing else out of boredom. I do not find myself bored ever, and I do not want to find myself some story she tells people at Fiddleheads or AJ O'Bradys in two years talking shit about me the same way of men of her past. I've possibly just got to get over this hurdle and just ask her straight up, but there is also the reality that shes embarrassed that I would even assume as much - she'd be the type of person to say a one-liner to you that would probably shut you down for a hot minute. "No, HAHA, You're not my type." I could very easily see coming out of her mouth. Your self-worth isn't strong enough to build a foundation on in the first place so it won't be a full on reconstruction of your personal character when you do find out your typing all these words for no reason. This is just more of your affliction messing with otherwise harmonious order. Of course, she likes to hang out with you, you make it all so easy not to want to. You pay for everything and come off harmless. You're playing your role of a "friend toy" very well and you should be happy enough with that setup but you're always looking for some other "hidden meaning" to it all when the reality is your life is really just simple and plain jane. You just only hoped there was something else to discover, but you gotta realize that there is nothing else out there for you to find. You've already found Pandora's Box, you closed it and left the goodies behind. This is all on you, it's really time you stopped wasting your time thinking about this situation. The dates this week got your mind spinning in circles. Start planning your exit. You're wasting precious time.