Quite honestly I wouldn't mind someone like Stacie in my life full-time. When I was digging through old chat logs and whatnot back from our earlier times of knowing each other she just seemed so enamored with everything, I guess it just must have felt so different and that was very exciting for her. It's just been over two days since I've talked to her and it feels like a lifetime already. This is just how _Black Friday_ played out in my head except this time around I have this huge overwhelming cloud of guilt attached to it because I'm the one we voluntarily decided to stop talking to the entire world. You can safely assume that when we do speak again she is going to be very dismissive of you and in general seem like an entirely different person. You will be overwhelmed at that moment by how little you seemingly mean to her but you just gotta let that run its course. Remember, you are not meant to be with anybody and you are not meant to enjoy the better parts of life. You make this decision for yourself for the well-being of others. You are not a good friend and you are not a good person. You are a fantastic flash in the pan, a fantastic employee and embody a great sense of humor and generally speaking you are _"down to earth"._ Beyond that however you are very much broken and should not even really be around your family as much as you are, because just your walking around brings the world down too. You say so much without opening you god damn mouth. Just keep working hard and don't expect anything from anyone. You deserve all of these things and you bring unto yourself. You are worthless at everything you try differently, mentally in your head. Do you hear me!? **You are broken!!!** There is no repair manual to follow, there is no fucking solution. You just gotta keep flexing the parts of you that work, while they still do and try not to fuck anybody's life up while your doing it. **KEEP YOUR OPINIONS TO YOURSELF!** Anybody who says they understand you is lying to your face to make you feel better about being broken! Those closest to you have mentally blocked off the parts of themselves that would allow them the freedom to feel they could tell you because **_YOU MADE THEM FEEL THAT WAY!_** The End.▼