```yaml title: Trying to Make Life Beautiful link: trying-make-life-beautiful published_date: 2024-11-01 15:02 ``` --- One of the harshest realities that I face on a daily basis, and something that has poked it's ugly face out to let itself be known is my complete lack of ability to leave the stress of work at work. This is something that I have always dealt with, and I suppose it was something that I was quite accustomed to dealing with. Jordan Peterson has this things about making things beautiful in your life. Well by having Christina move in with me, that was quite a dramatic move to put a whole lot of beauty into my daily life, just by having her and her elegant female presence present in my single-player masculinity dominated space. The unintended side-effect of making things in your life beautiful, as Peterson suggests is that the ugly things in your life just start to glow with an incredible magnitude. This is why many of us, myself included, just stay "right down the middle" and don't try to put too much beauty on display. However this stress boiling over and disrupting my personality and overall character starts to chip away at my other half when these episodes of rage and anger ("seeing red" as I call it) persist much longer than the short commute home from work. Being alone for so long has reworked my wiring to the point that I cannot seem to even let this beautiful woman who loves me unconditionally pierce thru the chaos going on in my head and sort things out for me. This is what she wants to do. It does not take much effort on her end at all whatsoever. She just needs to gain access thru the door and when she walks into the room, the chaos going on inside will eventually take note of her entrance and start behaving more appropriately as not to make complete asses of themselves. It all seems to so easy and straightforward when it's typed out of paper like that, but there some mystery behind how I am able to get her thru this door. There is an entire directory of half-baked notes and ideas in my Obsidian vault dedicated to these things I want to write about and expand on. Part of me wants to go David Goggins about it and just publish them as is on my commonplace so I become embarrassed at their state and become more motivated to write them out in full. One of these ideas however was this idea how of bad it is to be involved in playing life as a single player game for prolonged periods of time, coupled with complete lack of real life social interactions with others outside of your family. I feel like this can do some really intense reworking of your inner-workings as well, and online platforms and just doing your own internet thing will put you into the largest Echo Chamber you have ever seen. One of the big side-effects of this lifestyle and it's one both of us are afflicted with, we are hellbent set on making it thru things on our own. That is to say, I don't need your fucking help despite the fact that I'm clearly fucking struggling. Both of us were definitely working on the longer term goals of how to navigate life thru the End of Times without any third-part interference or interactions. That's part of why we hit it off so strongly at first. I never thought I would meet someone else who was definitely set and okay with the idea of being alone for the rest of their lives, but lowkey dying inside with all the love you have to give. Ⅲ --- <div class="afterword"> <p>🎧 <em><a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYz49zF71mE">Akira the Don x Jordan Peterson – Make it Beautiful</a></em></p> <p>✉️ <em><a href="mailto:[email protected]?subject={{ post_title }}">Reply by Email</a></em></p> </div>